Yeah. Not feeling too well this morning.

I should have stayed in bed.

It's probably an emotional thing, since I have been teetering on the edge for DAYS and have been very very close to tears many times. I really don't know what is going on with me, but I have just NOT been on top of my game and am really getting a bit tired of it.

I wonder if the dreaded M is entering my life and I am feeling those effects.

Whatever. I will deal with it the best I can and move on.

Yesterday, work was fine, if a bit boring. After the initial surge of work, there was nothing much for me to do and I was just kinda LOOKING for things to keep me going. Until, of course, near the end of the day when I decided to call my mom to see what HER thoughts were on her trip to the Mayo Clinic on Friday. (I had already spoken with my older sister, who filled me in, but, as it turns out, got things a bit WRONG.) Anyway, so, there I am, chatting away with Mom and Bossy Man called me and wanted me to call him back. Mom was still gabbing and it's really HARD to get her off the phone, so I had to listen for a few more minutes. Then I get an email from Bossy Man asking me if I was in the office or not. So, I really HAD to go. I got off the phone and called Bossy Man. All he wanted was a few letters which were waiting until today anyway since I didn't have the enclosures yet. No big deal.

then I ran home. I was given 15 minutes to get my ass home, take care of my dogs and do whatever else I had to do to get ready before I was picked up by Doug and April and the four of us were heading to the casino for Crab Night. It was an early birthday celebration since no one was going to be around next Monday, which is the real birthday.

Trish and Angel joined us there.

Yeah. I LOVE Trish!!! She's so nice and so much fun!!

But Angel?

Yeah. Not so much. I was not too happy when April invited her to come along on my birthday dinner. Yeah.

Anyway, so Angel drove me nuts, as usual. She's a drama queen and only opens her mouth if she thinks she can get attention from men. She was complaining that she doesn't like crab. (well, then DON'T come along to Crab Night). She was complaining that she is gaining weight. (well, then DON'T sit there and ask MY boyfriend if he thinks her ass is too big now.)

Whatever. She really drives me nuts!!!

She is one of those girls that will ACT helpless and stupid to get men's attention. I can't stand that.

I'm a strong woman myself and I would never lower myself to pretend that I can't do something just to get a man to notice me. That's total bullshit. If I can't do something myself (and there is very little that I won't at least try to do myself), then it just doesn't get done.

Anyway, she raises my blood pressure.

Whatever.

So, the dinner was mostly good, if you forget that Angel was there.

We didn't stick around much after dinner but rolled our full bellies out of there and went home.

Dave and I sat around the deck and waited for April and Doug to come back down, which they did. April didn't stay long and I only stayed until around 10:00. I wanted to get to bed by 9:30, but didn't quite make it. I think I am still sleep deprived, I feel tired and really emotional, as I stated before.

So, here's what's bothering me:

The plan was that next weekend, we were going to have a party at Doug's on Friday night for my birthday. Well, that got canceled and no one said a word about it. It just got dropped. Then there was the plan to go out on Monday on my actual birthday together for dinner. Now that is canceled. But we did that last night instead, so that is fine. Dave, when all these plans were being made originally said that he wanted to spend some alone time with me on my birthday or close to it. That was sweet, right?

Well, THEN the plan was for the four of us to go up to April's cabin on Crosslake and spend the weekend, fishing, playing cards, watching movies. Just doing some nice, quiet COUPLE things.

Doug was not happy about that idea. Then Dave was not happy about that idea.

So, I told Dave this morning that maybe WE should just make our own plans and screw the rest of them because they keep changing things and I really don't want to end up doing NOTHING on my birthday weekend because first we had so many plans and now they are all falling apart due to Doug. I reminded Dave that he said he wanted to spend some time with me alone.

And the reaction I got to this suggestion? Pretty negative and wishy washy.

So, I said, AGAIN, screw it all. I will just go to my mom's and say fuck them all. I am tired of the change in plans all the time and I don't feel like I have anything to look forward to right now. It just seems that every time I make suggestions about what I think would be fun, it get shot down and I am just a bit tired of it right now.

So, whatever.

so, this morning, when Dave sounded wishy washy about doing something alone, I just said never mind and left for work. Dave said he knew I was upset but, really, what does it matter? I'm a big girl and can make my own plans. So, I will.

I just got off the phone with Jenner and she can dog sit for me this weekend, whether I go to my mom's or whether I go to Crosslake. So, at least I can be sure that I can get out of town if I want to without worrying about the doggies.

Okay. I am getting more stuff from Bossy Man now, so I better get my shit together and get some stuff done.

gonna be a GOOD day!!!!

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