Just a short entry. Bossy Man is coming in this morning and will be here any minute now.

Yesterday, got an e-mail from Ivan. In it was enclosed e-mails that were sent to him from Jim.

Not such nice stuff.

It made me upset.

I was ready to either blow him away or blow off my own head by the end of the day because it stressed me out so much.

Good thing (or bad, depending on the day) I don't own a gun, otherwise I would be writing this from either heaven or jail. One of the two.

Anyway, after work, I went to Wally World for some retail therapy. Bought myself another pair of those really cute sweat pants.

Then I went home. Where I promptly laid on the couch with a washcloth over my eyes to block out the light and just sat and tried to get rid of the fuckin headache all this crap is causing.

then I decided to eat and I got up and made myself a bowl of Cap'n Crunch.

Yeah, that is the dinner of choice around here some nights.

While I was eating, I heard a knock on my door and it was Dave. He somehow KNEW that I needed to get out of the house without me having to say a word about my day.

Funny thing is, once I told him what was going on, my stress disappeared.

So, I got my act together and went with him to the casino, where I started winning.

I could not lose for nothing last night. I am NOT a huge gambler, so I really only ended up about $50 ahead.

But winning was NOT the point. The point was to get out of the house and be distracted from my problems.

Today, I NEED to contact Jim and tell him what is what and that I am seriously done with him acting like a spoiled brat whose mom didn't buy him the right toy for his birthday. I am just done.

He says he wants me back. But then he sends nasty e-mails to my friends and family. Then he threatens me. Then he says he is going to buy the house.

Well, fuck, dude, DO IT THEN.

Stop playing games with me and just fuckin DO IT!!!

So, I am going to tell him that HE can have the house after buying ME out, AND then HE can deal with all the crap he has left in it. HE can get the fuckin' dumpster to haul all the stuff he never threw away for the last 12 years because he was too lazy.

I am just tired of it all.

I have a great deal going with Ivan paying the mortgage and eventually buying the house.

But Jim wants to fuck that up. why? Probably so I am broke and down and I will come running back to him.

Not gonna happen, dude. I have other places I can go.

I am NOT dependent on Jim for anything at this point.

Dave did have a really good point last night. One that I refused to look at, but one that is steadily staring at me in the eye.

I can't afford to give Jenner the wedding she wants.

Jim can.

However, I cannot since I don't quite have the income he has.

So, I have to admit defeat in that arena. I just can't give her what I wanted to. What I said I would when Jim was still living here.

I know it will disappoint her. I know it will hurt her. But, I am sorry, but I just can't do it and I have been putting too much stress on myself, thinking that I HAVE to do it.

I guess I don't HAVE to. Dave showed me that. He said that if she has to scale down her wedding or postpone it until SHE can afford it. Or even just get married at the courthouse, so be it. I just can't do it. And I can't promise that her FATHER will, either, because he is turning into a selfish asshole.

Just to prove a point.

He is trying to bankrupt me. He is trying to make sure that I have NOTHING.

But you know what, my freedom is still worth that.....and more.

Bring it on, Jim.

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